Review: Pleasure Works Captain


I wish I could hand you the Pleasure Works Captain so you could feel it. Unfortunately, I can’t hand you dildos through the Internet (YET), so I’ll try my best to describe it. The silicone of the Captain feels like smooth, cool clay. It’s silky, almost creamy in texture. It’s uber realistic with random veins sprinkled down the shaft which provide some subtle texture, and a lippy coronal ridge. It’s firm, but smooth and soothing to the touch. Please Cream, a magical hybrid lube, makes the Captain even more smooth and silky. Even though I generally only recommend water-based lubes for silicone toys, Please Cream doesn’t harm the silicone, as it’s a low percent.

The Captain is known for a being a rather chunky, large dildo. The Captain is fairly girthy at 1.78″ in diameter. It’s definitely wider than it is thick. This creates something like a shallow scoop, the way two fingers are wider than they are thick. It flares out under the head, sort of like a pissed off rattle snake. I end up feeling the fullness of the Captain horizontally, rather than all around. Does that make sense? I hope so, because it’s responsible for the only major fault in the Captain. It just doesn’t provide the fullness behind it that my G-Spot craves. The head feels good, particularly so, but by flaring out on the sides and not all the way around it feels shallow and without a lot of omph behind it.


This is my experience. I’m a picky bitch. But when I want to use a large-r toy I want to feel it especially front-ways towards my G-Spot rather than side-to-side. But I wouldn’t throw out the Captain as an option. It’s completely body safe, it’s texture is lovely to the touch, it does hit my G-Spot and the ridge along the head is divine. And if you’re looking to feel stretched without trapping your G-Spot under the pressure of all-around girth, the Captain would be perfect. I’m also pretty sure that the Captain would be great for those who like fingering but want something chunkier.

As for me, I’m usually left wanting a little more. I love the texture, love the body-safe materials, and prominent ridge under the head. It’s lower in price than many of the other realistic, girthy dildos that are 100% body-safe on the market. It’s butt safe and harness compatible. It’s got a lot going for it. The Captain just doesn’t wow me or my G-Spot.

Sound like it might be right for you? Scoop one up here.

Looking for something smaller? Check out more options from the Pleasure Works Line of Realistic Dildos, like the Cadet or Rookie.

Special thanks to Good Vibrations for sending me the Pleasure Works Captain in exchange for my honest review. Affiliate links are used throughout. Thanks Good Vibes!



Black Friday/Cyber Monday Steals & Deals

Good Vibrations is having a 25% off site-wide 11/27-11/30

Lot’s of possibilities here. The G-Spotter that changed it all, the Comet G-Wand (now with optional vibration) for $64. The VixSkin Buck for $85 (my review here).

20% off all We-Vibe. Get yourself the Touch, the rumbliest little rechargeable external vibe treasured by sex toy reviewers everywhere. I recently upgraded to the new model, and I gotta say it kicks the old model’s ass.

Starting 12/1 Cyber Monday deals go live, including a $15 dollar gift card with any hundred dollar purchase.

25% Off All LELO. Finally, snag that Mona 2 for $105



Spend more, save more at SheVibe on Black Friday

10% off orders of $75 (Use code: TURKEY10)

15% off orders of $100 (Use code: TURKEY 15)

20% off orders $125 or more (Use code: TURKEY 20)

SheVibe has a huge selection. My picks? The njoy Pure Wand (my review here), The Fun Factory Stronic Drei (my review here), BS Atelier Alex Noise (my review here)


Where to start? Tantus has some wicked awesome savings bundles going on. Top picks:

O2 Toys and Vibrating Harness Bundle 30% Off: I own 5 O2 toys and I adore them all. The O2 toys are a firm, silky, slightly squishy silicone with a firm inner core and more flexible outer layer. I vote for the Cush, the Flurry, the Mikey, or the Adam.

Paddles and Ball Gag at 40%: While my reviews of 3 of the paddles are forthcoming, I will go ahead and say this: I fucking love them. They combine the thuddy goodness of impact with a sharp and striking sting. Ones I love: the Wham Bam, the Thwack, and the Snap Strap.

The also have Flash Sales going on daily until the 1st. Starts tomorrow!




Membership savings at Crash Pad, leaders in hot, ethically produced queer porn. Save 10% off your first month.





20% Off Everything at LELO. Free International shipping!









HedoVibes Round #68

We-Vibe-Tango-Review-6Photo courtesy of Slutty Girl Problems

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.











Review: Tantus Bound


There’s no getting around it: the Bound is one kinky, rough sex dildo. If the buldging veins and rope along the shaft didn’t tell you that, one glide through your hands sure as hell will. You’ll know immediately that it will be rough, it will take all the lube, the thickest lube, and even then, you will feel like you’ve been fucked for hours after using this thing.

The Bound’s size is quite diminutive, possibly because what it lacks in intense girth or length, it makes up for in extreme texture. No speck of silicone is left untouched. Even a texture slut like myself was quaking in her boots, how is this actually going to feel though? To the touch, The Bound doesn’t feel like any other Tantus toy I own. It’s not silky like the Juice or Flurry, it’s not glossy and smooth like the Goddess or Raptor XL. It’s firm and rubbery, extending it’s fetish-y qualities. It feels like a tire covered in prickley paws. Am I exaggerating a bit? Maybe but that’s the judgement my vag has handed down.


It’s usually too much. Unless I’m in the mood for its gritty, harsh texture I cannot do it. It leaves me desperately sore, sometimes in a good I-just-got-fucked-hard sort of way, sometimes in a Did-it-scrape-out-my-insides-with-this-thing? sort of way. Inside of me all the intense detail feels sharp and scratchy even with ample Sliquid Sassy. It blurs together to create a very rough sensation. I thrust gently and with caution.

I gotta say conceptually this dildo rules. The details, the craftmanship, the awesomeness of two of my very favorite companies teaming up, the Bound is fricking cool and I’m happy it’s apart of my collection. But I’m definitely not eagerly grabbing for it, and I definitely need to be in a Bound mood and have plenty of warm-up before I do use it.

I do like that its harness compatible and butt safe base is smaller, and doesn’t overcrowd my vulva. I can’t easily grasp it without losing room for my clitoral vibe. I also like the design and shape of the head which is has a gently extended ridge followed by three of the binding ropes. While its still extreme, I like how it feels over my G-Spot with the majority of the scrape-y shaft outside of my body.


(from left to right) Goddess, Bound, Splash, Flurry O2

Like any other Tantus toy, it’s 100% body safe platinum silicone that you can sterilize by throwing it in a pot of boiling water for 3 minutes or popping it in the dishwasher (top shelf, no soap). Unlike most other Tantus toys I own, the Bound is damn near impossible to clean. Juices get embedded in the seemingly endless grooves and divets and multiple tooth brush scrubbings still leave traces behind.

The Bound takes texture, concept, and sensation to new heights. I recommend it to extreme texture enthusiasts, folks who have fetishes for ropes on dicks, and those looking for unique (albeit gritty) sensations. Not for the faint of heart, nor vagina.

Get it from Tantus

Want lots of texture, but a bit more gentle? Try the Splash or Splish.


HedoVibes Review Round Up #67

intimate-torment-forced-orgasm-harness-kinky-monkey-1Photo courtesy of Cara Sutra

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.















Review: BS Atelier Alex Noise


The Alex Noise in light blue definitely went as an artsy clown for Halloween. In a Bozo meets Pollock mashup I would have otherwise never known I desperately wanted, I couldn’t get the Alex Noise out of my mind. I had to have it. Luckily, the folks at Early to Bed and BS Atelier made my dream of owning this quirky little dildo come true. You’ll want to check out all of BS Atelier’s dildos, which seem ready for an edgy Halloween party in the next big district. Not to mention, all of BS Atelier dildos are hand Spain. Yes, please.

The Alex Noise arrives in a clear and sturdy plastic resealable bag for storage. It’s 100% silicone, so its non-porous, non-toxic and body safe. It’s one the shorter side at 6.3″ tall and on the leaner side at just shy of 1.4″ in diameter. It’s small size make it an ideal choice for newbies and as a warm-up tool. Although super festive, the Alex Noise is a pipsqueak compared to the large and in charge girth monsters I generally keep company with. But I don’t always want something huge, I sometimes want something casual. Something easy and still stimulating. The Alex Noise is all of these things. It’s defintely squishier and more pliable than I imagined it would be, which was a treat to find. It’s a breeze to insert, and after weeks of testing, it has never, not even once, caused any awkward popping or discomfort. Like I said, casual.Though it’s G-Spot stimulation isn’t immediate, the Alex Noise’s gently tapered point feels delicious on my G-Spot after it wakes up. It’s small base is easy to grasp and thrust with. My arms don’t get tired and this dildo doesn’t hog up all the vulva space.

FullSizeRender (4)I had a hunch that Alex Noise would be perfect for experimentation with double penetration…..and I was right. For those who may not know, putting something in your butt takes up space for things for vaginal/front hole penetration. I’ve tried with other toys, and it didn’t really work for me. The Alex Noise’s small base is perfect because it leaves room for access to my butt and helps me grasp more than one toy at a time. The curve doesn’t jab into me, the way other curvier toys will when I have something extra anally.The small ridge and point head provide some mild stimulation that’s good for early G-Spot exploration, or for those who prefer little to moderate levels of G-Spot intensity. It’s base does fold pretty easily and is very small, so I wouldn’t recommend using it anally without a constant and very firm grasp. It could work in a harness but you’ll be sure to seek out some help for stabilization.I was really impressed with BS Atelier’s Alex Noise, I’d definitely want to check out even more from them. The Alex Noise is now the first toy that pops in my head when it comes to toys on the smaller side of the size spectrum. Casual, aesthetically goregous with just enough texture and squish, the Alex Noise is a winner in my book.

Shop for the Alex Noise, and other products from BS Atelier at Early to Bed. Early to Bed a rad, independent sex toy retailer with a brick and mortar shop in Chicago that offers a variety of quality sex toys at every price point.

Thanks to the lovely folks from Early to Bed for sending me the Alex Noise from BS Atelier in exchange for my honest review!


Peep’s Re-Group Reading Group: Ecstasy is Necessary

EcstasyIsNecessary.2.I recently came to the slow realization that something was off. Although I had learned a lot, written a lot, and traveled sharing my ideas, my brain felt miles away from my body and my daily experience. I had gotten ahead of myself, and I still have a lot of work to do confronting my own shame, my histories, and making peace with my body. Ultimately, I did what any theory nerd like myself would do: I made a reading list of books that I thought would help me confront my biggest issues.

Enter: Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbara Carrellas. I scoured the sex-blogging world looking for best book lists and found this page of must read queer lit from the Frisky Feminist Collective. Perfect. Within pages, I knew this was precisely what I needed: a book that takes readers through the basics without being overtly didactic and still honoring a deep sense of complexity and nuance.

And these basics are anything but surface level. Barbara Carrellas walks her readers through identifying their wants, their boundaries, and helps them map a route toward discovery. It is truly remarkable.

I’m a brainy person, an academic, I plow through pages of dense psychoanalytic theory at break neck speeds. I can deconstruct Plato’s allegory of the cave to make a case for feminist pedagogy in porn. I do not fuck around. But I, and I’m pretty sure every other graduate student in the nation, can get ahead of myself. The “I” that writes, presents, travels, and teaches, that “I” is confident in her knowledge, assured of her position, is different than the “I” who gets to be alone, the “I” who remembers, who knows that she doesn’t take the time she needs to work on herself.

This isn’t entirely a review (if it were it would be: buy this book NOW), but more of a reflection of what I’ve learned about myself from reading this book. Lately, I’ve found myself freezing up before writing a review or finishing an article. I’d gotten really behind and things were really starting to pile up. I would have blown it off as procrastination if I hadn’t read this book. Somewhere in the exploration Barbara led me through, I realized that my brain and body still holds on to earlier shame surrounding writing about sexuality. I was not permitted privacy or sexual autonomy growing up but I continually wrote about sex from a very young age. Inevitably, these writing were discovered by my parents who would react with disgust, anger, and punishments that were in no way commensurate for the “crime”. I wrote on anyway, yet sometimes the fear and sense of betrayal I felt then can keep me from writing now, even though that is no longer my life.

Boundaries are hard for me for similar reasons, and Ecstasy is Necessary helped me restructure and develop my boundaries around my basic wants and needs. I indeed was looking for “something more” and after reading this book, I feel more confident and in control about the next steps I need to take in my own erotic explorations. I’ve identified where I want to go from here. This book was the perfect roadmap.

Seriously though, read this book. It’s available here.


HedoVibes Round Up #63

hedopicPhoto courtesy of Naughty Corner

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.













Peep’s Picks: Tantus Deals & Steals

There are a couple sales you’ll wanna take advantage of from those fine folks at Tantus this month. I adore Tantus: everything they make is 100% body safe and non-toxic. Throw in ergonomic designs and decent prices, and you get the glory that is Tantus Inc. I’m all about affordable toys that are safe, durable, and most of all, feel good. WIth these sales, you can snag some great toys for under $50.


For starters, all plugs are 25% off. What do I recommend?

Ripple Small: Glossy, flexible with a slight squish to it, the Ripple glides easy and is perfect for warming up. Though I use it for a gentle thrusting, can also function as a plug.

Juice: Subtle texture, and a girth that isn’t too much or overwhelming yet still brings a bit of stretch and fullness. Its stays put. While my review is forthcoming, I love this plug and recommend it to intermediate butt players.

Ryder: Though not my go-to everyday plug, the Ryder is a chunk that seriously delivers. Check out my review here.



Lot’s of great stuff in Closeout

The Sport and the Slow Drive in Purple Haze: Even though they are quite small, both of the itty bitty dildos bring palpable G-Spot stimulation and for me, do not require warm-up. Great to use on a partner, and are harness and butt compatible. They’re also crazy cheap at $21 and $22.

Raptor XL: The Raptor XL is on the larger side of things, but it’s glossy tapered head makes it manageable to me. A new addition, Raptor XL is on my favorites list. If you’re looking to up the girth, grab it now for HALF THE PRICE ($45).

And what’s a better way to celebrate these cool nights than by snuggling up with some new (bodysafe) toys?

Want ‘em by Halloween? Order by October 22nd. Free shipping on U.S. ground orders of $100, free international shipping when you spend over $200.

Check out all the great stuff from Tantus.


Review: Stronic Drei

I sat staring at my brand new Stronic Drei. As it lay charging, a quiet terror overtook me. What have I done? I thought, stricken with fear. What if the Eins really was better? What if this locked behind my pubic bone with grizzly bear force? What if…I made a major mistake? FullSizeRender (1)I was nervous for a reason, the Drei has an iffy rap in the sex-blogger/reviewer world. Some insist its the worst of the bunch, others assured me its the best. One hot afternoon, to reward myself for nailing my Master’s defense, I weighed my options. I just couldn’t bring myself to care about the Eins. Maybe its motion is more clearly discernable, but its lack of texture and curve makes me feel so blah about it that I couldn’t bring myself to scoop it up, I had to go with the Drei. Then, of course, came the slow and sinking terror: What if I hated this thing? This thing I paid for (even though I paid less than most do).

So, what is it though? What is it supposed to do?

The Stronic line from Fun Factory is known for its innovative “thrusting.” It doesn’t vibrate, it moves back and forth powered by magnets and science, which makes it unsafe for folks who have pacemakers. The easiest way to describe what the Drei does is thrusting but really it sIMG_1006coots. It scoots around in my vagina and will eventually scoot itself out if I don’t gently hold it with two fingers. It has 10 thrusting patterns, some of which are constant and steady and other “dynamic” setting which change speed and intensity. The motion of the Drei is severely limited when held. Holding it firmly, the way I do just about anything else, obstructs the movement. The Stronic line requires a bit of adjustment.The scooting of this “thruster” does not feel like penetrative sex, at all. It is not a deep, pummeling—it is not a portable fucking machine. In all honesty, it doesn’t feel like anything I’ve ever experienced before and in my case this is a very good thing. The Drei, which is the third in the Stronic line, is heavly textured and a little more than what I would consider average girth. I use very little of the Drei’s 6 1/2 inches, preferring to get the point precisely on my G-Spot. Fun Factory silicone is plush and very, very matte (not silky but almost rough to the touch) so it needs lots and lots of water-based lube (I recommend one of thick gel consistancy like Sliquid Sassy or Please Gel). The Drei is rechargeable and holds a charge for a crazy long time, I’ve had mine for over a month and haven’t recharged it once. This particular Stronic has a flared base, and is safe to put in your butt. It’s just way too big and textured to get into mine.

How’s it feel though?

I was wowed by the Stronic Drei. In my notes from day one, I wrote: “First time with the Stronic went surprising well. Like, really well, question-my-vagina well.” The G-Spot stimulation of the point, the texture, and the motion won me over.  Immediately.  Part of this, I expect, is how lazy I get to be. I just lay there with a small vibe on my clit, not even clenching my PC muscles, letting it scoot my G-Spot into orgasmic oblivion.Stronic.Drei.1.I press the Drei downward towards my butt gently with my index and middle finger. This helps it stay in place and find my G-Spot which it does, masterfully. When I got my Stronic I knew what to expect from other bloggers. I practiced relaxing my vagina as best I could. It paid off. I find the scooting of the Stronic incredibly pleasureful, particularly on its constant modes. These modes provide steady motion, while the “dynamic” modes ebb and flow, gain and lose intensity. Pushing the “+” button engages these modes, and I find it’s interface easy to use and simple. The first setting is great for starting out, and adjusting to the Drei’s motion. Then I increase to a moderately enthusiastic jiggle and than to the big guns—-pushing the “+” button until the jiggle builds into a steady thumping pulse.

To really feel the motion, you must must must relax. I feel the Drei’s motion most intensely right before I orgasm as my muscles relax before contracting. This completely sends me over the edge. Although I think the Stronic Drei feels good the whole time, as the motion becomes more and more palpable it ups the anty to awesome levels before I come.

The Drei speaks my G-Spot’s language, its rounded point strokes it into pure ecstasy. I feel it in the soles of my feet, in my hands, and face. It’s the kind of star inducing stimulation I’ve felt very few times using a toy. But what wows me even more is it’s consistency. It doesn’t just happen here or there, every time I use the Drei I can count on a hard and breathy G-Spot orgasm, which sets it apart for me. Seriously, my profound love for it has me questioning my vag, making it feel like that kid in junior high who adamantly insists that something lame is actually really really cool. Like way cool guys.

But is this the toy for me?

The hardest part of writing this review was trying to figure out what differentiates my mind-blowing pleasure from the Stronic Drei and others’ displeasure of it. What makes this the perfect toy for me, and clearly not for others? I’m still not sure, but I do have some guesses.IMG_1012   I do not like internal vibration. I only use a vibrator internally for the sake of reviewing. Give me a dildo and some clitoral vibe any day.  I like the Drei because it’s a toy that offers something different for me to enjoy internally. I usually rock and tilted thrust with a dildo and the Drei reminds me of that, only I’m not really doing anything and it feels somehow more intense. It’s somewhat weighty and makes the motion on my G-Spot feels fuller.

If you want a toy to fuck the shit out of you, this is not the right toy. You’ll need a fucking machine, my dear.

If you have a very fussy pubic bone, this is not the toy for you. I trust Epiphora’s observation about the “locking” this toy can do. I’m pretty sure if you’ve struggled with you pubic bone gettin’ in the way, this toy can easily get trapped behind it.

If you enjoy papbable, pointy G-Spot stimulation coupled with some motion, like a rocking or shallow thrusting, than I’d say the Drei might work for you.

But as with any other toy, you know yourself better than I do. The Drei resonated, I took a chance, and got the best toy I’ve tried so far. This is never guaranteed. I’m not going to tell you to run out and get it: this toy is hella expensive at $200 and doesn’t even come with a storage bag (which is just insulting). In the end, I love my Stronic Drei and am over the moon with the unique sensation it delivers. Although it’s less of a staple than a major luxury, the Drei has won the affections of my cunt.

Get the Stronic Drei at Good Vibrations or SheVibe