Review: VixSkin Outlaw

Aptly named, the VixSkin Outlaw defies the laws of my vagina. Now I know that a Tardis is something that is bigger on the inside than the outside, but we need a word for dildos that seem huge and feel oddly like nothing at all once inside your various orifices.

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That’s kinda how I experience the Outlaw.

The Outlaw is a colossal, extremely floppy hyper-realistic dildo complete with veins and giant balls. With 9.5″ of insertable length and just over 2″ in diameter, yeah, this is a big-ass dildo.

It has a very squishy outer layer and a functional, firm inner core. It’s body-safe and 100% high quality silicone. Be sure to use only water-based lube and you can boil it for 3-5 minutes to completely sterilize it (you will need a pretty big pot).

VixSkin, the coveted and beloved dual density silicone from Vixen Creations, won the affections of my vag when I reviewed their other toy, Buck. With the soft, ample squish of VixSkin in combination with a smooth and supple G-Spot head, Buck was close to perfection.

The Outlaw, on the other hand, taught me that it wasn’t just VixSkin about Buck that I loved. Its size and shape made it easy to thrust. The Outlaw, as I probably should have been able to tell, is not easy to thrust with….at all. It’s much too floppy, as I can only realistically put slightly over a quarter of its massive length inside me.

If you could take only one thing away from this review, it should perhaps be this: only get the Outlaw if you want to experiment with length.FullSizeRender (33)

Girthwise it’s not enough to justify the hassle of wrangling it.

It’s hard to grasp this dildo and it bends so easily that it’s very difficult to thrust with. And because it’s so squishy I desperately need to thrust with it for it to be stimulating.

I essentially experience three stages when using the Outlaw:

Stage One: Disillusion

I stare at it thinking it’s going to feel massive and wonderful inside me. The thick, lippy coronal ridge is going to put amazing pressure on my G-Spot and I will have all the orgasms. Orgasms for the ages.

After some warm up, I smother it in Sliquid Sassy and put it inside me. There’s a stretching sensation, some moderate discomfort, and then…nothing.

I feel full, really full, but my vagina can’t really discern how I feel so full. The Outlaw feels formless and I start to question how discerning my vag really is.

Stage Two: Pleasure

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VixSkin Outlaw v. Buck

Though I can’t really tell where it is inside me, I begin to thrust anyway. After some time and clitoral stimulation, it starts to feel really good. My G-Spot is suddenly on board with what is going on, even though I can’t really make out how the ridge is stimulating it. Thrusting is clearly the key to making this work. The pleasurable sensation builds and builds and I need to thrust harder.

Stage Three: Frustration

I try to thrust harder and cannot. The Outlaw‘s balls are difficult to hang on to and its floppiness is causing it to bend rather than slam inside me with abandon. I grow frustrated, my arms aching from its hefty weight and though I come, I know I could have stronger orgasms if I could just thrust the damn thing a little more easily.

So I don’t know, people. I just don’t know about the Outlaw. Is it a good toy? Sure, it’s body safe and luxuriously plushy. It does feel good, but for a toy that stands at nearly a foot tall, it leaves me wanting more.

My advice is this: if you need a toy you can thrust with easily, this is not the toy for you. If you want to experiment with length then by all means, go right ahead, the Outlaw will probably serve you well.

If you’re like me and more interested in girth, the VixSkin Buck or Randy (if you *really* want girth) are probably better options.

If the Outlaw sounds right for you, you can scoop one up at SheVibe.

I Have a Real Neat Blog? How Sweet!

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Always the Little Spoon nominated my blog as being really neat. Wasn’t that sweet? Thanks, Lil Spoon! So I’m gonna answer some questions and share some stuff about my blogging life.

1. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I fell head over heels in love with sex toys, other bloggers, and the industry at large. I was working in a sex toy shop while finishing my Master’s thesis and I didn’t want to leave. Helping people find the right sex toys for them is rewarding and it wasn’t something I wanted to give up. So, I started PeepScoop.com.

2. If your site had a goal, what would it be? How do you feel you’re doing with that goal, right now? How do you feel you’ve done with that goal over all?

My initial goal was lofty.

I wanted (and still secretly want) to be like the Queer Vogue of dildos. In terms of meeting that goal, I’ve realized to follow my own voice and that’s enough. I think it’s easy to get caught up in trying to the “something” of sex toys but in reality people just want to hear about your authentic experiences and read essays that don’t suck.

My goal now is to help people seek pleasure. To actively seek out pleasure, to be curious about it, and write pieces that inspire and help people to live more pleasure positive lives.

I’ll never be the Anna Wintour (I mean, sure maybe *crosses fingers and prays to ye sex toy gods*) of detachable dicks, but I’m still Peep and I wouldn’t change that.

3. How has blogging influenced your life?

Blogging has made me a better writer. It just has.

It keeps me writing, it keeps me engaged and plugged into an industry I love for better or for worse, and it’s nice to have a community of bloggers who support you whether you wrote an awesome sex guide or your pet is sick.

And as I’ve written elsewhere, writing reviews has helped me do a very tricky and important type of writing: articulating sensation.

4. What is your favourite part of blogging?

When I get feedback like “I had that toy but didn’t know I could use it this way and then I did and it was awesome!” or “Thank you for writing this, it really speaks to me,” I feel like I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing. That’s makes me want to keep going.

5. Are you kinky? How did you come to this conclusion?

Yes. I came to the conclusion that I was brat interested in resistance and pushing boundaries when I had the language and concepts to do so.

I came of age around kinky people who were out and proud but their kink didn’t look like mine. So I’ve probably been kinky for a long time but just saw their kink as the only kind. It took a lot of reading and asking questions to get there, but I see it as an integral part of my sexuality. Blogging definitely helped facilitate that.

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

An Associate Professor, a buyer for an indie sex toy retailer, or a mermaid. Any of those would be fine.

7. What is the most important thing about you that you want everyone to know?

I’m kind of aloof, but I have good intentions.

Field Notes of a Smut Slinger: On Burning Up & Starting New Fires

The word “burn out” never really resonates with me. I’m not talking about the feelings associated with burn out (exhaustion, loss of interest, general struggle to constantly engage), so much as theE25F284123 word. Rather than burning out, per se, I burn up. I spin with ideas and projects and passion until I’m engulfed with flames of wanting to do and be everything to everyone at every moment.

Yeah, that’s been happening lately.

Which means that blogging and tweeting have taken a backseat to real life. I needed it. It’s been a time of working hard to get myself out there and for all the aspects of my work to be seen. And I learned a lot about my brand, my direction, and my audience.

I was reminded lately that we feel burn out usually because we’ve done a lot. We’ve put ourselves out there, contributed to something greater that us, and worked our asses off. That’s why we’re “burnt out” in the first place. I’m trying to remember how I got to this current state of exhaustion and realized a lot has come out of this fiery time of burning up.

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I got a chance to talk about what I think about working as a sex educator on the floor of mainstream sex shops at Catalyst Con East this year. And in other awesome news, you can read an essay form of that talk on Kinkly in my first published article for them.

The conference was a crazy amazing time. I got to see people I knew and loved and meet new folks.  It lit a new fire under me, to write and continue to promote myself and my work. I got to raise questions about issues of labor and point out that sex toy shop floors are actually imagined in our culture as places where people can ask for sexual help.

After my presentation, I had a fucking FANTASTIC  conversation with phone sex operator and award wining performance artist Cameryn Moore and she wrote about it on her blog. We found connections and differences in different types of sexaully-related, affective labors. It epetomized what I loved about being there: the sheer inspiration. With every encounter I began asking new questions and thinking in new directions.

I also fondled the new cordless Magic Wand Rechargeable. It’s a rumbly monster with a squishy silicone (!!!!) head, improved buttons, and a plug-and-play feature. I’m really excited for the reviews on it to come out. You can pre-order one here.

Which also means I finally got to squeeze that wondrous human, Educator Andy. I eventually produced this gem when talking about why I’m in media studies and not in some other academic discipline.

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I met Kate Bornstein and cried happy tears about it for a minute.

I smoked cigarettes with people I admire and got to vent about smut slinger stress to Crista Anne. I’ve been thinking about leaving the floor and it kind of breaks my heart. I love what I do. Crista said she “misses it everyday.” I believe her.

Mostly, I acted very shy, squealed frequently, and kept announcing who people were to themselves, as if they didn’t already know. Which is cute, I guess.

After that, I spent the first day of #MasturbationMonth in a town in which selling sex toys was illegal not very long ago. A couple weeks ago when I traveled to West Texas as an invited speaker, I was thinking about one of the major themes that emerged at Catalyst Con: sex education in the everyday. I was outside of my comfort zone speaking about kink, media, and feminist alternative reading practices in a conservative space. And though I’m used to being left of center, or the “socialist smutslinger,” I’ve grown accustomed to being around people who were like me politically and socially. I forgot what it was like to worry about the material consequences of what I do as a pleasure and permission based sex educator and as scholar on porn and sexually explicit media. Though unnerving, it reminded of me of how I am needed outside of a sex positive bubble.

It felt good to be an alternative voice. To hear people say “You’ve articulated something I’ve been trying to say but couldn’t quite access,” “I’ve never thought about it that way,” and to know you’re shifting paradigms no matter how small it feels. I was reminded of how we as sex educators and bloggers are needed—- to be the voice of pleasure and permission where there are so few others to speak up.

I may have burned up my energy, but it was well worth it. I’m getting back to writing some fabulous things for you, dear readers.

So what’s next on the agenda?:

Big.Toys

If you haven’t read my review of Best Sex Writing of the Year from Cleis Press, do it. The name really does say it all.

Reviews have been piling up, so there’s no shortage of awesome (and not-so-awesome) stuff to talk about. There’s sex toy erotica, a guide to sex and aging, multiple dildos, and some new butt stuff all waiting to be tested and judged.

My upcoming guide to big toys will help you pick out the chunky dildo that’s just right for you.

A piece about classism and access when it comes to sex education will challenge our cultural standards of what and who is an “expert.”

Oh, and I’m writing a book of bratty smut.

So kittens, I guess the lesson of these past couple months is that sometime we have to burn up to start a new fire.

 

Want to show my work some support? Grab a toy and some lube from Tantus this month and save 20% I’ll receive a percentage of the sale and you can celebrate Maybation! 

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Review: Best Sex Writing of the Year from Cleis Press

I devoured  Best Sex Writing of the Year from Cleis Press. I gulped down the articles in droves, rarely letting up, and as if with cheeks full of delicious thoughts and new ideas, I yelled “These are the conversations we should be having.”

BSWoftheYear_hiresI don’t agree with everything the authors in this text say and they don’t always agree with each other. That’s possibly what makes Best Sex Writing of the Year…the best. As a whole it tackles a diverse range of issues and experiences: white supremacy’s affects on desire, ability and access, sex worker rights and experiences, the treatment of penises and the people who have them in the porn industry, and trans and genderqueer inclusion.

Now, that’s what I’m talking about.

And that’s not even a definitive list. Lynn Comella reaches out to community members in Las Vegas on the quality of sex education they received, calling for comprehensive sex education in her, often mispresumed to be wildly liberal, city.

Editor of Best Sex Writing and host of Sex City Radio, Jon Pressick provides a poignant reflection on censorship and how we balance and navigate sexually explicit language in the public sphere.

Laura Marie Flemming (aka Queerie Bradshaw) makes a case for celibacy as a mode of healing and harnessing production.

While you can find these essays in and around the web, I gotta say (as a self-described book slut and fetishist, mind you) I love having them all nestled together in the form of book.

It’s probably not the book I think some would assume it is: a collection of overtly positive writing that skims over major structural issues.

Yeah, this is not that book. The essays and various pieces in this collection go directly to the heart of core issues and reflect with a succinct capacity to account for structural and personal experiences of sexuality at its many intersections.

I was already familiar with some of the articles featured, like sex toy reviewer Epiphora’s post “What Should We Call Sex Toys?” Epiphora tackles the importance of having an honest, accurate taxonomy when it comes to sex toys. She promotes the use of the word “toy,” and questions companies who eschew the word (they are used for play, people) in favor of condescending euphemisms.

Christopher Zeischegg’s (aka Danny Wylde)  essay for Nerve was another familiar read. Reflecting in equal parts vulnerability and endearing aloofness, Wylde talks about the toll ED drugs took on his body during his time in the porn industry. He flirts with questions of the authentic, and there’s such a gentility to the way he pen his complicated story of being sexual both on and off camera.

These essays speak beyond basic understandings of sexuality and instead spend time focusing on complexity and nuance. It maintains, however, a high level of accessibility—-you don’t need to have studied Foucault to understand what’s happening.

One theme that emerges in the text is a call for decentralizing gender in terms of how qualify sexual identity. Fuck yes. Part of this is an attempt by several authors to capture sexual plurality. Alok Vaid-Menon gives an extraordinary essay on their experience of white supremacy and it’s effects on their desire in “The White Kind of Body.” Decentralizing sex and gender “identity” is a way to combat singular, white-centric discourse on queerness, and counter oppression. They write:

I want us to stop attempting to categorize, label, and contain all of our pluralities. I want us to be able to embrace the chaos that comes from really doing meaningful introspective work on our desires without falling into the trap of identity. The idea of categorizing our sexuality into discrete identities is a colonial phenomenon. This process of challenging sexual identity politics and allow a space to self-narrate our desires and identities is a part of a greater struggle against white supremacy.

The notion of breaking down singular conceptions of identity as a part of a larger intersectional struggle against oppression appears in several places throughout the book, including Cory Silverbern’s “We Need a New Orientation to Sex” which makes a case for honoring pluralities, particularly when talking to children about sex and gender.

I didn’t want to put it down. I wanted it to keep going, on and on forever. I would have stayed there reading it.

In the end, it’s easy for me to judge a book by how much I end up writing after I read it. My mind was reeling with ideas and feels and my fingers couldn’t wait to get to the page.

Best Sex Writing of the Year is a conversation-igniting megaforce to be reckoned with that features some of the best sex writers out there. It just is.

Get a copy from Good Vibrations.

Cleis Press wanted to know what I thought of Best Sex Writing of the Year, so they sent me a copy in exchange for my honest review. Thanks, Cleis Press!  

The Bratty Bottoms Spanktacular Giveaway Series: Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat

A little over a year ago, I penned an essay that still resonates deeply. It was the first time I felt really truly vulnerable in my writing here on Peep’s Scoop.

As a bratty bottom, someone who plays with resistance and acting out, I’ve learned a lot about trust, about keeping it playful, and about how I view myself. This essay still manages to capture how I feel about being a brat.

From the Essay—Bratty Bottoms: Ambiguity and Resistance:

When I’m bratty and I act out, I know I will be punished. It gives me the space to explore a more concrete set of relations. Which is not to suggest that I am not denied punishment from time to time. When I beg, I feel my need for that connection, those causal relations I so adamantly avoid in my work.

The Brat is a role and/or persona. William A. Henkin does a good job of explaining the difference between roles and personas and how the two are related. While a “role” is an already established part that either fits or doesn’t fit, a persona is “a state of mind or a single facet of someone’s personality expressed as a whole, if limited, personality…” [1]

We discover our personas, Henkin continues, through role-play in a kind of fantastic loop.

The Brat, as a role, can unearth a whole host of personas, and allows me to strike when I feel an urge, allows me to react fully—-to a feeling, a suspicion, a want. And in turn, I know that when I do this, I will receive the slap of a hand.

I wanted to give away some tools that I think are great for exploring bratty bottom play, so over the next month I’ll be doing a set of giveaways. The Bratty Bottoms Spanktacular Giveaway Series will feature toys, books, and all the things you need to explore BDSM safely and sensationally.

Bettie.Page.Spanking.Bat

First up is the Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat, a dual sided faux-leather paddle that’s totally playful and mischevious.

From My Review:

 The smooth side works well for long spanking, and the quilted side is great for taking it down a notch before reverting back. Also, butts tend to get itchy when spanked for a while, rubbing with the smooth side eases this. All these features make it great for sporadic, anytime play.

You want this paddle, people.

There are several ways to score extra entries: following myself and giveaway sponsor Good Vibes on Twitter, tweeting about the giveaway, subscribing to the blog, sharing links, referring your friends, and more!

If chosen as the winner you will have 48 hours to respond to my email before another winner is chosen. You will have to provide me with your address, as I will be the one shipping it to you. The winner will be chosen at random and announced in an update to this post, on Twitter, and via email. I do not announce people’s names, as I think it’s an issue of privacy.

Thanks for following, and good luck!

An extra special thanks to Good Vibrations for donating the Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat for this giveaway! Good Vibrations is the leading education-based adult retailer. Check them out here.

The Bratty Bottoms Spanktacular Giveaway Series: Bettie Page Paddle

 

HedoVibes Review Round Up #82

IMG_8155Photo courtesy of Miss Ruby Reviews

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

BONDAGE, IMPACT, & FETISH GEAR

LUBES & CONDOMS

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

 

Review: Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat

I’m a porn nerd, people.

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I wanted the Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat because the fetish loops and films of Irvine Klaw are still some of my favorites to watch and write about. Particularly, are his “catfight” films which usually involve a roommate getting mad very suddenly and tying a lady up then spanking her in a ridiculously performative way. In my favorite, a very bratty woman keeps interrupting a game of chess. The chess-players, who are inexplicably wearing lingerie, first tie her up with her arms and legs behind her back, but she scoots over and knocks the table over, so they re-bind her in a different way, and she finds another way to disrupt the game and a pattern develops. These images set my interest in all things bratty in motion.

When I found out about the Bettie Page line from Lovehoney, I fell in love with this imaged paddle. It’s playful and fun and calls to mind all those bratty loops and films. Word on the street was that it might be too tame, but I didn’t care. And I’m glad I didn’t. I quite like this paddle for everyday use.

The Spanking Bat has two sides. The side with the picture is smooth and has a nice bite to it. It’s the primary side my partner and I use. There is also a quilted side, where the faux leather is much more plush. In the manual, beginners are encouraged to use the quilted side when starting out and I agree. The impact is much more muted and broad.

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I rarely mention packaging in my reviews, but I feel compelled to with this particular toy. It really presents the paddle to you, with a collage of images inside and added memorabilia. It looks like a treat to be enjoyed and played with. I appreciate this, as sometimes the marketing of BDSM toys is dark and serious and broody. The Bettie Page line is conversely light with a hint of mischief.

After ooohing and ahhing over the packaging, the paddle itself was put into immediate use. It managed to capture both my partner and I’s imaginations, as aesthetically, this paddle is on point. It’s sleek, light weight, and appears very gentle. When put to the test, it delivers a bit more of bite than I expected, but isn’t overbearing.

My partner had been wanting a paddle for every day, prolonged use. Our usual go-tos are great but I cannot take them for as long he’d like and as hard as he’d like. We needed something lighter, but not boring.

I’d say that we made the right choice. The smooth side works well for long spanking, and the quilted side is great for taking it down a notch before reverting back. Also, butts tend to get itchy when spanked for a while, rubbing with the smooth side eases this. All these features make it great for sporadic, anytime play.

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While it’s not going to be enough for those looking for intense, heavy impact, the Bettie Page Spanking Bat is great for those starting out or in a similar situation of wanting something that is easy to take and use.

The only con I see with this paddle is that it is a bit expensive. This is largely, I assume, due to copyright stuff. If you’re looking for a quality, beginner-friendly, playful paddle, I’d say it’s worth it, if you really like the image and/or Bettie Page. If the image doesn’t speak to you or you want something heavier, I’d say it isn’t for you.

I was actually really impressed with the bite the Bettie Page “Picture This” Spanking Bat can deliver. I’m glad it’s in my kinky collection.

Get one from Good Vibes.

Good Vibrations sent me this product in exchange for my honest review. Affiliate links are used throughout. Good Vibes is one of the leading seasoned, trusted woman-centered and education-based sex toys shops out there. They have a great selection, excellent customer service, and tons of helpful guides and tips on their website. Thanks, Good Vibes!

 

HedoVibes Review Round Up #80

AnthroSharkPhoto courtesy of Carnal Chameleon

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

 

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

RINGS & STROKERS

BONDAGE, IMPACT, & FETISH GEAR

STRAP-ONS/HARNESSES

LUBES & CONDOMS

STORAGE & FURNITURE

ADULT VIDEO

 

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

 

 

Review: Bad Dragon Scorn the Wyvern

Never before has a sex toy inspired me to write trashy inter-housal Harry Potter fan fiction like Scorn the Wyvern from Bad Dragon. “50 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR,” I exclaimed on Instagram when Scorn arrived. And though I’m a Slytherin myself (I got that ambition, baby), I salivated at the sight of this short, chunky, crazily textured new dick from Bad Dragon.

BD.Scorn

Scorn is my second toy from Bad Dragon.  When thinking over BD’s many options I wanted to repair some of the issues I had originally. But first you should know that these toys are completely customizable in firmness (soft, medium, firm with the option of having a  medium shaft and firm base known as Split Firm or a soft shaft with a firm base, Split Wide), color (each toy’s color options are a bit different, but you can get any toy in any color ever or chose from preset options designed for the toy), and size (on the whole, Bad Dragon’s toys are larger than average, so look long and hard at the pictures).

You can also order a sample set of their silicones before making your choice. If thinking about your first toy from this company, I recommend doing so. The price of the silicone set is later deducted from the price of a toy.

My Scorn’s Stats:

Small (1.9″ at it’s widest, 4″ tall), Firm Silicone (Still pliable, softer than the firmest Tantus, much more rigid than VixSkin’s outer layer), Light Natural in Coloring

My Experience

I found the Medium silicone a bit too soft to be able to distinguish the texture on Nox the Night Drake. So this time around, I went with their Firm silicone, which I do favor now.  Scorn.4The texture is much more palpable, but it’s still soft enough to keep it from feeling weirdly scrapey. I’m really happy I made this move. I love the stimulation of the ridges that fall down the back of Scorn, which ride along and nudge my perineal sponge (shout out to the Redhead Bedhead whose writing on the subject, inspired my own explorations).

I went with Scorn because it possesses my favorite qualities: short—it’s only 4″ tall and I can thrust with abandon. While it’s ok for me, I could easily see this toy being a bit to short for some.

It’s base is much smaller and way easier to grasp than their more traditional toys. With some anthropomorphic toys, I get what Lorax of Sex calls “dildo claw,” and having small hands, my fingers have to stretch and curl to keep it from slipping out of my hand, like I’m desperately trying to hang on to a cliff.

Scorn’s base is hella more manageable.

The curve really spoke to me, as it looks like a G-Spot toy if I’ve ever seen one. The interesting thing about the curve is that it also keeps the base at a distance from vulva, leaving it free for a vibrator. There is not a battle between my internal and external toys, just harmony.

Oh, it’s also huge.

I say this because it looks small…compared to the others  The small is really chunky, at 1.9″ in diameter in the head and 2″ and slightly over in the shaft. This is not a toy a lot of people can just pick up and use, nor should it probably be someone’s first toy. It requires a decent amount of warm up.  The head is pointy, which I just adore once it’s inside me, but if you’re not warmed up, it feels slightly like it’s stabbing the entrance to your vag. Not that I would know, but um, yeah, I tried and learned the hard way. But when I’m properly warmed-up, I love how it’s girth put lots of pressure on my G-Spot. And I can get a better handle on it for some pretty intense G-Spot thrusting.

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Should you get the Scorn? 

As with many of Bad Dragon’s toys, the first question I ask is: does it speak to me? Does the shape look like it would work for me compared to other experiences? The Scorn I think is ideal for people favor girth over length, no matter what size they are thinking of going with.

My advice when ordering from any customizable dildo peddler: TAKE YOUR TIME. I know, I know, getting pretty, interesting dicks in the mail is exciting but don’t let this rush you. And let’s be real, this is what happens to me each time I pick out a new Bad Dragon toy:

YAAAASSSSS NEW DRAGON DICKS WEEEEEEEEEEEE, *rushes through options like a fiend*, but maybe I could do the large? YES THE LARGE! Ok, yeah no, it’s like 5″ across, let’s get real, *sounds of mad clicking* WHY ARE THEY THAT SIZE? I NO LONGER UNDERSTAND COLORS *crashes into a heap, takes a nap, wakes up 30 minutes later and slowly goes through all the options with partner who can spot her vaginal delusions of grandeur from a mile away.

Don’t let the options overwhelm you. If you’re thinking about one and have questions that aren’t covered here, feel free to email me (peeps [dot] scoop [at] gmail.com).

The Takeaway:

I like to think of the Scorn as an intermediate, anthropomorphic G-Spot toy. It’s interesting, filling, and it’s base doesn’t cut of all ties from my vulva. Though not for beginners, the Scorn is great option for a short, fat, non-realistic dildo.

50 Points for Gryffindor indeed.

You can get Scorn the Wyvern and a whole host of other magical dicks: here.

Thanks, Bad Dragon, who sent me Scorn the Wyvern in exchange for my honest review!

 

 

 

Dealing with Sexual Disappointment

I’ve been trying to ejaculate for literal years.

It took me a long time to really find my G-Spot and enjoy G-Spot stimulation. I tried over and over on my own with my hand, but never worked for me. Shortly after becoming a blogger, I took the advice of Epiphora and got myself a Comet G-Wand. I began trying more and more types of texture and stimulation. I learned that my hand wasn’t enough. It takes something with a lot of oomph behind it, whether it be sheer girth, a steep curve, a rigid firmness, or some sort of science magic.

But despite having all kinds of crazy pleasure, I’ve still never squirted.

It’s been an interesting journey. I’ve definitely felt the twinges of envy and disappointment. Everything goes the way it should: I begin with clitoral stimulation, add a G-Spot toy, thrust like all hell. I press the vibrator firmly against the right side of my vulva (where I want it). Sometimes I can even hear it sloshing around. I’ve read all the books, laid down a Throe, and used lots of great smut to get myself there. It just doesn’t happen for me. It can be easy to feel left out, or not as “evolved” as others, although, I know very well that isn’t the case.

It can feel frustrating for anyone who sets out on a sexual journey that doesn’t seem to go as planned. Our bodies don’t always submit to deepest wants, no matter how mind-blowing the orgasms or how politically charged our intentions. Sometimes our partners don’t respond the way we’d like when we make a suggestion we’re really excited about. Or maybe that toy that worked so well for our friend didn’t do a damn thing for us.

Disappointment is something that happens. Here are some ways to deal positively with sexual disappointment:

 

#1. Let Yourself Feel

More often than not we’re told to shake things off, to let things go, or to repress our feelings. This doesn’t make the feeling go away, it merely turns it inward on the self, only making shame and disappointment worse. Take a second to breathe in and accept the emotion. On the exhale, try and release it.

#2. Spend some time with an old stand by

When I set out to ejaculate and fail, I go back to another type of stimulation that I know works well for me. I pull out the Hitachi Magic Wand, have a few strong orgasms in rapid sucession, and call it a day. Take your mind off the task at hand by doing what you already know works for you. Or just stop for a bit, go back to doing something else and try again later.

#3. Share your frustration

Us bloggers are really good at encouraging each other through our sexual mishaps and frustrations. Tell a friend that you just need some time and space to let loose and vent. Write it out. Get the feelings outside you, so you can look at them critically. Disappointment thrives on being unspoken

#4. Learn to let go of expectations

This is so hard for me. I always want to be the best, I’m a perfectionist and I always want to feel in control. But our bodies don’t always work the precise way we want them to and we aren’t in control of how others respond to us. Sex-positive exploration isn’t about achieving things, like orgasms. It’s about how we arrive there: pleasure.

#5. Keep it playful

I easily get lost in books and information, becoming unintentionally overly serious about my sexual goals. One way to keep this from happening is to keep things light and playful. It shouldn’t matter whether squirting (or whatever) happens or not. It’s about experimenting, self-knowledge, and having fun!

 

 

 

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