Tips From Experts: How to Introduce Sex Toys In Your Relationship

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One big question we receive in our Bawdy Bookworms Insiders group is “How do you introduce sex toys into a relationship?”

It’s a common concern, whether you’re in a committed relationship or single with an exciting collection of vibes. It’s tough for many people to talk openly with their partners about their sexual desires and needs. It makes sense that adding battery operated toys, flavored lube ups, and other pleasure products can increase the anxiety.

Taking control of your sexual pleasure requires confidence and vulnerability.  Even if you’re an expert at getting yourself off alone with your favorite rabbit vibe or glass dildo. Adding another person into the equation means being aware of their feelings and desires.

Don’t let the conversation scare you! Introducing sex toys into the bedroom is exciting and fun. You’ll be able to explore new ways to pleasure each other. It’s a brave new world so charge up your vibes!

Expert Tips: How to Introduce Sex Toys into the Bedroom

There’s no one way to introduce a toy into your relationship. Factors such as communication style, your sexual history (including abuse or trauma), and current mood can affect the experience. The same as every time you come together with your partner for sensual play. Read through the tips and choose the one(s) that feel right for you.


It’s important not to spring a sex toy on your partner without prior discussion. Hopefully clothed and before you have sex. Don’t spring the topic on them while you’re in the throes of passion. Choose a location that is safe for both of you. If you’re not sure how to start the conversation, here are some ways to broach the topic:

Talk about a romance book where the couple (or just one character) uses a sex toy. Share what you liked about it and ask your partner for their opinion. In Wrong Bed, Right Roommate by Rebecca Brooks, the woman has a favorite red vibrator that gets plenty of use. If you want to discuss beginner BDSM play, read Purely Professional by Elia Winters.

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