One of the absolute most common questions I receive as a sex educator is about how to bring a new sex toy home to a sweetheart.
There’s a lot of fear inside that question: insecurity over what we like, nerves that maybe it won’t turn our partner on, general embarrassment over our choices. Boiled down, most of the edginess we feel around sexuality stems from shame. When we decide to put our pleasure first and go out on the limb of exploring our own sexuality—exploring ourselves—some feelings, positive or negative, are bound to come up.
When choosing something we think we’ll love, we’re looking at our desire and trying to give it an outlet. That in itself is a beautiful act of vulnerability and self care. The thing I always tell folks is to present the new addition to your life like the gift that it is.
If you present it like a game of hot potato, tossing it awkwardly to your partner in a hurry, they are likely to feel awkward about it, too. If you sit them down and confidently say, “I’d been fantasizing about buying this for a long time, and now that I finally have it, I can’t stop thinking about you using it on me,” chances are that you will be having quite the night.
Taking the opportunity to allow your partner to explore this delicate, incredible, powerful space with you is nothing short of a gift.
But what if it isn’t a partner who’s holding you back from the vibrator of your dreams? What if it’s you?
The only person who is ever going to know exactly what you want is you. Much like an ice cream shop, the person behind the counter can tell you the bestseller or their own favorite, but when it comes down to it, you have to make the decision.
Source: Nooky Box