Category: Essays

We don’t want the exhibitionist to have a gaze. How else would we keep the myth of mastery? For her to look back would be to see us, to see us standing, staring, vulnerable from the way she makes our bodies move and respond. We treat her like she is invisible to us, that she is little Read More

I have struggled with just what framework I might use to write about my experience at the Feminist Porn Conference this year. FP Con is one of the few places I go where I bring all of myselves with me. When most days feel as though no one around me sees all of the things Read More

Discovering The Brat There’s nothing quite like those moments when you find out that there’s a word for what you feel, when you feel a concept snap into place. In moments like these, I feel connected to histories, experiences, and something so far beyond the “me.” Finding the words “bratty bottom” was like that. I first heard the Read More

This is one of my favorite passages by Cixous: To rise above the interior chaosmos each one of us gives ourselves a spokesperson I, the social I who votes, who represents me. I have an I who teaches. I have an I who escapes me. I have an I who answers for me. I have Read More

Once upon a time that has been and yet thrusts its presence into my everyday. Whiskey breathed, I proclaimed my martyrdom—they were crucifying me at the hand of a rather dramatic allegory that no one ever even bothers to remember.  He laughs an arrogant laugh, I do not try very hard to ignore how wet my Read More

Sing to me your forgotten melodies, for there is resistance in this air. Your pale streets and worn face could tell me a story but I am the stranger that came to town. Peel back the corners of your wide sprawling mouth that gave the world its fill. You rattle at night like the ghost Read More

I abuse exclamation points Place them at the end of every sentence Exploiting their potential for enthusiasm For I have fawn legs and breathe for voice And my eyes can only grow so wide And my tale so bushy With my hands trembling to trust The pulse in my voice. Read More

Write the body Cixous urges. Write the feminine, write the body. And my body aches to be written. But there ahead always lies danger. An immediate fight or flight response that paralyzes my hands, a shrill whisper, a reminder of the threat. There are material consequences for sharing your truths, of what you know and Read More

The emergence from lion to dragon. The ripping of fur revealing a musculature of scales, ready to be re-formed transformed through a serious/series of destruction(s) Through a brief encounter with the serpent of knowledge But what might be said of the tender true self which emerges? to cease the cycle of rebirth is the foremost Read More

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