To say that I found A Princess Bound: Naughty Fairy Tales for Women inspirational is an understatement. I ran out and found some other fairy tale inspired sexy stuff to review here in the context of a princess mega review. Let me start off my saying this: not every princess gets her crown from a prince. Some of us win ours at drag competitions as Capt. Cunt and The Cunt Loving Cadets. As one OutWriter put it “Not every princess is blonde. Not every princess is a white. And not every princess is a girl.”
The idea of the Princess isn’t the problem, the problem is how mainstream popular culture confines the Princess to tales of heterosexual romance, whiteness, and traditional gender roles. But Princess Play doesn’t have to be like that, as Princess Bound generously shows its readers.
A Princess Bound is highly literary, and by that I mean it contains a heightened sense of language and a variety of themes. Some stories don’t contain a Princess at all. It’s the idea of the fairy tale, of the lines between fantasy and morality, sex and magic.
It’s stories are well crafted and range from cute and sweet to dark and twisted. There’s definitely a variety in terms of how the writers responded to the book’s Princess theme. Some are revamped, sexy versions of beloved classics, others are a blend of classic tropes with a modern spin, and some create something entirely new. I never realized all of the ways fairy tales could manifest in such kinky ways.
One of the things I learned in this princess-themed investigation is that fairy tales can go all sorts of wrong when you mix them with sex. They can get cheesy, feel inauthentic, and make us ask ourselves WTF. Even when a story remains more “true” to a classic, it doesn’t feel like its merely trying to make the fairy tale sexy. These stories aren’t parodies. A Princess Bound is mature yet playful. It feels genuine and edgy, and rather effortless. My only slight complaint is that some of the stories felt a bit long, and that weighed down the book’s overall pace.
Overall, it was a great read. Thanks Cleis Press for sending it to me for my honest review.
I had to have The Princessa for this princess review, and the folks at Vibratex were kind enough to send me one. The Vibratex Princessa is a part of their new line of mini vibes called The Girls. They are all pink, a deep fuschia, and come in a faux leather storage pouch. All of The Girls are rechargeable, and the charging doc is super secure (does not wobble) and connects at the toy’s base. They are also small and discreet.
I was infatuated with The Princessa in particular, because, well, it doesn’t look like any other vibe I’ve seen. It has a slanted numb in the middle and is surrounded by whispy strands of silicone which seem like little ticklers. It looks super playful and girly and my initial reaction to the Princessa was: need, want, must have now. It’s funky and different in an industry where every “new” thing is generally an imitation of something else. But I was blinded by The Princessa’s quirky design, and didn’t notice that the word “delicate” is used in the product description. My vulva is not delicate, and doesn’t take kindly to delicate vibrations. The Princessa feels interesting and enticing on my hand, but doesn’t do so hot on my clitoris. It feels good on the flat surface of my fist, but my vulva is folds of flesh—-and far from flat. This throws off everything about the design that originally peaked my interest.
I cannot have an orgasm from the Princessa, and trust me I tried. Again, I was blinded by my love for how it looked and didn’t think about how ridiculously mild the vibrations might be. To call them mild, is to put it mildly. They are buzzy, watch-battery strength, and inconsistent as they move away from the tips of the toy to the base. As is the case with most buzzy vibrations, the more pressure you apply, the more the vibrations diminish from the surface.
I can only recommend the Princessa to folks who actively want weaker, mild vibrations. Even then, a silver bullet attached to a battery pack (of AAA’s or AA’s) would be a cheaper and stronger option. Aside from its lack of power, and inability to do the job for me, it has all non-orgasm related things going for it. It’s made from silicone and ABS hard plastic (base), easy to charge with a steady charging base, comes with storage, and is so damn cute. If it were bigger and stronger, I’d probably love it. Sadly, the Princessa didn’t work for me. (Thanks Vibratex! You can get one at SheVibe or Good Vibes).
I also wanted to check out the new Fairy Tale Line of parody videos from Wicked Pictures. Now I’m not usually a big budget porno-gal. I prefer my Crashpad Series, Queer Porn TV, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide or Chemistry Series, anything from Emilie Jouvet, anything with Madison Young and Dylan Ryan in it, and occasionally something from a mainstream girl-girl company. But that’s about it, unless I’m doing research. Checking out the Snow White Parody is one such special occasion.
Because it lacks what I like most about my favorites: diversity of gender, body, and expression. Everyone appears to hold up a standard of beauty that I’m just not quite completely down with. I couldn’t get through it. There’s just something about mainstream porn that shuts me down. The dicks are random, always erect, and the scenes are organized around them. Throughout my encounter with this film I just kept asking “Why? Why is he there? Where did this penis come from?” The whole thing was cheesy and contrived and….yeah no.
Honestly, in my little investigation I found that the best Fairy Tale inspired item in sex retail right now is A Princess Bound. Scoop up a copy here.
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